Tuesday, April 28, 2009


Fucking bread! It tastes so good, they sound so groovy and we need it so damn much! The South Beach diet made a mockery of this amazing starchy delight. Well I'm fighting for the carbs! For Easter I decided to make a traditional Easter bread with eggs and all. Boy was it good! Even though my stomach popped out like I was 4 months pregnant from all the bready goodness, I still loved it.

After rubbing my Buddha belly I thought it was time to take it down a notch and listen to the extremely sappy sounds of the 70s wonder band, Bread. Their depressing lyrics and melancholy music will make you want to slit your wrists. And boy do I want to slit my wrists right now. I feel like I've fallen in love with some girl and I will never see her again. I don't even like girls, but this one really got me... Actually when my cousin died her husband played Everything I Own at the wake. What could could tear your heart out more than that? I'm crying right now just thinking about it...

But let's move on before I go to that place (I know you know what I'm talking about) and think about my favorite use of bread. The slang use. You know you need it, and you need it badly, if you are asking for bread. Does anyone actually say that anymore? I think I am going to bring back a renaissance of the use of bread for money! Join me... "Hey man, you got any bread? I got a bit of yeast problem."

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