SITdown

I need someone to scream this at me sometimes. My ex-husband used to say that I have 2 speeds; fast and sleeping. Of all the crap he said, he was right on about that one and damn it, I need to SIT MY ASS DOWN. The subway is as good a place as any...

light

I was sitting at the Tea Lounge in Park Slope one day, like a good yuppie, and noticed how nicely the bad lighting hides all the grossness of that place. I'm not saying the food is bad or that the coffee sucks, but it sure isn't the cleanest place. It does, however, have some cool lamps like this one. It was nice to sketch, which made my stay on the stained couch easier to deal with.

forest fire

So I was walking around Prospect Park this summer and stumbled upon this fire hydrant (or johnny pump as we say in old school bklyn). It was along one of the trails. Of course the first thing to come to my mind was the Dead Kennedys song Forest Fire. So Here is a little clip of the song just for your enjoyment. Don't get any ideas though...

ENERGY

I never drank coffee until I had kids and now I don't know how I would handle life without it. Actually I've recently become addicted to chai, the super sweet kind in a box. How comforting it is when I feel my heart rate go up a few notches and I start to talk super fast. Actually right now I am typing this like a speed demon because I just had a big ole' cup of it. Will I ever be able to end my addiction? Will I ever be able to function without it? Should I care?

drink me

My family is the ultimate in reusing things. This jug was brought to my aunt's house about 10 years ago from my father. He said he loved this apple juice and wanted everyone to try it. Not only that, check out the bottle it comes in? My dad was really in love with the Martinelli apple juice bottles and now his sister was falling for them too. Well she fell hard because she kept the damn bottle for 10 years! I have to admit, I love them too. They are simple and really do make you think of an apple with the leaves at the top. The lemon/lime-aid my aunt made was pretty damn good too. My father, a true granola wanna-be hippie, would have loved the reuse this bottle has gotten and the would have enjoyed the sweet juice that had a few sprigs of mint to spice it up. You go Aunt Joy!

lake

More Smallwood fun! Can you tell I like the Catskills? Although this looks more like the Hamptons with the madras pattern on the word lake...

trail

I really didn't like this when I first penned it in. I thought I went too heavy on the 'trail', but I realize that the trail I was drawing was actually that heavy. It was a black tar trail on the edge of Atlantic Higlands, NJ, along the water. The sky was blue and yellow and the willow swayed in the wind. As I look at it now I see that I did capture some bit of the essence of that man-made trail. As beautiful as the view from the trail is, the actual road is just that... A road... BORING! And you know what??? My word 'trail' is kind of boring too... I guess I did an okay job after all...

smallwood

So I'm reliving the good times of my summer through these sketches. I was lounging on the beach of Smallwood Lake in the Catskills, looking across the lake at this log cabin. I have to say that I love me a log cabin. It was fun to draw this because of all the textures. Some people really like my more architectural stuff. This is for you guys. Enjoy!

3 wheels

I drew this at my mother's house and she said, "It's nice, but the proportions are all wrong." And you wonder why I didn't draw when I was a kid? Never-the-less, I like this sketch and isn't that what really matters for something that comes from your heart?

fridge

I spent a bunch of time with my mom this summer. One place was their cabin in the Catskills (a sketch of that is coming soon). It has the best vintage fridge and I had to draw it. Although this is not the most elaborate of things, the art deco shapes are irresistible. Check out the handle. It is so sturdy and make a big click when you open it. How could you not love that?

Thirst

So I was sitting in the waiting room at the doctors office and I was so bored and so thirsty. Then I saw it... The water fountain! The perfect thing to draw. I can't really say I like this sketch too much, but it did help the time go by. Now if only I have enough pee for that damn cup.....

Sugar

I drew this one day when I was at the famous Tom's Restaurant. If you haven't been there I suggest you do. But don't go on Sunday because they are closed.

I used to have a serious sugar addiction. I'm talking hiding boxes of brown sugar under my bed. It was gross! Now I barely eat sugar, but when I do I can seriously go off. I ate a pint of ice cream the other night in about 5 minutes. I don't know what it is, but when that sweetness hits my tongue I can't slow down. I need to stop talking about this because I'm ready to close the store so I can get a Twix bar...

fan

Everyone needs a fan. This is my mother's. It sucks....

Atlantic Highlands NJ

Since I have no time to update and think of funny things I will just post a bunch of my recent sketches. I hope you enjoy and don't get too mad at me.

This is a super cool house in Atlantic Highlands, NJ. I wasn't sure if the 'Atlantic Highlands, NJ' at the top of the sketch gave it away.

OUTSiDE

I love being outside! I've always had a problem with this. It's probably one of the reasons I got kicked out of 8th grade, I just didn't want to be inside. I think I played hookie more days that I actually showed up. But enough of my rough neck youth, let's talk about sunshine and how it makes people smile!

I worked an event at Habana Outpost when I sketched this umbrella. I can't deny that I really think that place is cool. But I always think about that part of me left over from my younger days that says anything cool really sucks. I almost tried to force myself to think it sucked, but I just can't. I invite everyone I know there and I will support them in any way I can. Good job you cool ass, open-air, funky eaterie with a truck parked smack dab in the middle. I love it!

My other favorite part of being outside in the sun is getting brown. Now there are some people that feel simply because I am a little olive in complexion I don't have all of those skin problems that uber white folks have. GET OVER IT! I burn like a mutha (see, I'm trying not to curse after the comment by anonymous)! Pass me the spf 50 and, lucky for me, I'll still get some color but I wont burn.

Now get your ass outside and enjoy the sun already!

CLEAN

I'm constantly on the search for quarters. Sometimes I feel like a junkie going to the bodega across the street from my apartment begging for a dollar or two worth of quarters. My hand starts shaking as I put my bills on the counter asking for the beloved silver round objects that complete me. I feel obliged to buy some shitty candy that I, of course, eat it in a second. If my kids are with me I have to hold off on the candy and get something on the healthy side, which sucks because you know I just want a 100 Grand Bar or a bag of Swedish Fish. But there I go with a bizarre shaped bag of peanuts and rains just so my kids don't OD on sugar. And believe me they can.

My other gripe with doing laundry is separating clothes. I've decided to just fuck it and throw it all into one machine on cold! I save so much money that way. Put all the dirty clothes into the oversize machine and pay less than using 2 small ones.

But what about detergent? My ex had such sensitive skin I had to make sure to only use completely granola, all natural products. After we split up he came by to pick up the kids with red blotches all over and I knew immediately that he was using the wrong detergent. How pathetic is that???

bread

Fucking bread! It tastes so good, they sound so groovy and we need it so damn much! The South Beach diet made a mockery of this amazing starchy delight. Well I'm fighting for the carbs! For Easter I decided to make a traditional Easter bread with eggs and all. Boy was it good! Even though my stomach popped out like I was 4 months pregnant from all the bready goodness, I still loved it.

After rubbing my Buddha belly I thought it was time to take it down a notch and listen to the extremely sappy sounds of the 70s wonder band, Bread. Their depressing lyrics and melancholy music will make you want to slit your wrists. And boy do I want to slit my wrists right now. I feel like I've fallen in love with some girl and I will never see her again. I don't even like girls, but this one really got me... Actually when my cousin died her husband played Everything I Own at the wake. What could could tear your heart out more than that? I'm crying right now just thinking about it...

But let's move on before I go to that place (I know you know what I'm talking about) and think about my favorite use of bread. The slang use. You know you need it, and you need it badly, if you are asking for bread. Does anyone actually say that anymore? I think I am going to bring back a renaissance of the use of bread for money! Join me... "Hey man, you got any bread? I got a bit of yeast problem."

silent movie

You know by now that I have this ongoing love affair with vintage toys from the 60s + 70s. Here is one of my absolute favorites; the Fisher-Price Movie Viewer. The best part is that there is no sound. The movies can be seen at any speed you want depending on how fast or slow you wind the crank (on the other side) which makes them doubly entertaining and pretty tripy.

I have to say, this is my my favorite sketch as of late. It looks like a still from Barbarella or some kind of ray gun toy, which is destined to be my next obsession. Those 1950s tin toys are so sweet. My mother used to collect them. I remember talking to my mother about my vintage toy collection and she just couldn't understand how toys from the 70s could be considered vintage. Shit, toys from the 80s are vintage! I'm sure my kids will be talking about the classics from the year 2000 when they are in their 30s and I'm going to look at them like they are crazy too.

FUNK

A few weeks ago I wrote about Mirrors on Grand and the awesome funk band that plays there once a month. L.I.G. has been around for years. I drew this picture of the guitar players left handed guitar. Not sure I got it right, but I tried my best. I interviewed Durand, the guitar player, to get a little more info about this amazing band that is way under the radar. Here is the interview:

What does L.I.G. stand for?
Love is God.....(Not Dogmatic by any means...lol)

What instrument do you play?
Guitar

How long have you been a member of the band?
2 years...if you count my oblivious hiatus.

How long has the band been in existence?
Don't know.

What is your most memorable gig?
I forgot....I know I had a good time though.

What is your favorite place to play?
Mirrors on Grand!!!!

What is your favorite music to play?
Jam Band music.

Do you play original music?
Not yet.

Who is the oldest member of L.I.G.?
Santa.

Can you think of anything else I might want to know about your band?
L.I.G. is a group of neighborhood music lovers with some talent....The unique thing is the authenticity in grove. It comes from the love of music...While we play covers..they are the ones the last time they were heard you were probably a child..giving it a nostalgic quality. We often get..."Wow...I haven't heard that in a long time!" We're always learning new material which moves us away from the same ol' same ol'.

L.I.G's next appearance is at Mirrors on the Grand in Brooklyn....April 25th. 5ish. Check them out!

5 pointz UPDATE!!

Holy shit!!! A couple of hours after I left 5 Pointz with 3 kids, the staircase pictured above collapsed and trapped a woman under it!!! Dude.... I feel like I better thank my lucky fucking stars because this luck could run out at any time.. Check out the story on NY1. How messed up is it that I took this picture in the exact same spot just a few hours prior???

T R A S H

I was sitting in the Atlantic/Pacific station waiting for the 2 train when I decided to sketch out a trash can. I had to force myself to finish it because I just wasn't feeling it (shut up, I know I sound like a hippie). Then some art-hater stood in front of it and I couldn't see the recycling sticker. I thought it was the spirits of sketch telling me not to draw it. She moved and I trudged on with my feelingless sketch. I didn't pen it or write my word until days later. After I finished, I was glad I pushed myself. All my little excuses for not working on this sketch were put to shame. I really dig it!

Lets talk about trash for a minute. We all have it. We all hate it. Well not all of us... In fact I was a witness to some incredible dumpster diving just the other day. Took my daughter and some of her friends to LIC to see the awesome graffiti building, aka 5 pointz. We saw some divers who found a couple of sweet rolls of vinyl in red, black and yellow. A very good find because that stuff is pretty pricey. I'll admit I would have loved to grab one of those. Project ideas were flowing into my head like vinyl rivers with no end. I don't usually post photos, but I how could I resist this one? It is of a dumpster we saw at 5 pointz overflowing with discarded fabric. They are having an open studio on May 30th. Definitely check it out if you have the chance.

SOUNDS

First, I want to apologize for not posting this week. I was sicker than a dog at the begining of the week and with my kids starting Spring break today, there was so much crap to coordinate, a blog post just wasn't on my list of shit to do. I know you will all forgive me. If not... Well, as we say in Brooklyn, 'fuck you!' Now to the business at hand, my sketch and something about it... Enjoy!

What the hell is this obsession I have with music? I can't get enough of it and this shitty Nano just doesn't hold enough music for me. Plus, what the hell was I thinking getting a pink Nano? Oh yeah, I let my daughter pick it out. I guess at 6 pink is the way to go. If I was younger (like a teenager) I would have seriously thrown up at the thought of anything pink in my possession. Suddenly I have this new found love of pink. How the hell did that happen? I mean I'm a product of the 80s, but I was all about black. Maybe a splash of red or purple, but pink??? No way! Now I have pink shirts, socks, leggings and even a pink Adidas track jacket! Sometimes I think I've gone over the edge. But then I realize I just have to accept the fact that I actually like pink now. It's okay. Really it is.

No se apoye contra la puerta

The subway has been a part of my life for... well.. my whole life. When I went to Madrid the first time I couldn't figure out how to get anywhere, but when I went on the Metro I could understand that city like I was born there. I guess I am just a natural-born underground maven! But the NYC subway system will always have my heart.

When I think of all the signage I pilfered from the subway, I am amazed I never got caught. My room was lined with condom ads from the F train and my door covered with stickers displaying messages using only Helvetica. But I did, however, get arrested (handcuffed and thrown in a paddy wagon) for jumping the turnstile with some friends. I, with true Brooklyn grace, called the cop a racist pig and out came the handcuffs. Ooops... Sorry guys... At least it made for an exciting story!

Speaking of subway signage, what ever happened to the No se apoye contra la puerta stickers? Has the Spanish speaking population in NY left? From my extensive research it seems that nearly 28% of NYC population is of Hispanic or Latino decent, so I'm thinking much of this 28% speaks Spanish. When I was growing up all of the subway signage was in both English and Spanish, not just the advertisements. So what's up MTA?

I miss the subways of the 80s. There was graffiti everywhere and we all smoked on the train. If anyone said anything we said 'Fuck you!' and stood in between the cars to finish our smoke. That's right I used to hang out between cars and smoke cigarettes! I wonder if I ever told my therapist that? I admit that I do miss the rough edges of NY. What will my kids have to talk about? 'Remember how that guy littered that one time?' I'm sure my kids will find rough edges of their own to boast about, even if it isn't getting arrested and smoking on the subway.

Just wanted to add that if you are pissed off about the fare hike send the MTA your bill!

waiting waiting waiting

Todays sketch is of the molded plastic Herman Miller-like chairs in the waiting area of my therapists office. Gotta love finding good design in the oddest places.

Growing up in Park Slope gave me a false sense of reality in many ways. One being the idea that everyone went to therapy. I mean at least half of my friends had parents that were therapists and we all went to therapy.

I was in therapy at the age of 4 because my parents didn't want their divorce to seriously screw me up. Basically I knew what play therapy was before I could read. This was not the most useful trivia when I went to camp in NJ. For whatever reason, the kids out there didn't want to hear how a shrink could help you work through you problems rather than acting out.

My worst memory of therapy is when I told a therapist I smoked pot. He then suggested to my mother, without my knowledge, that I see a drug counselor. Okay, so I was only 12 and had smoked some pot. But let the story be told that I had only tried it once at that point and I probably got the pot from my father. I'm still working out trust issues from that one. I went to numerous therapists after that, but by the time I was 16 I had enough and decided to give therapy a break.

I am back in therapy now and really love it! I feel so lucky to have this other person to work through issues with, along with all of my forms of self help (jogging, biking, sketching, dancing, loud music). If you don't have a therapist, GET ONE! I'm telling you, it's worth it. Your head will thank you...

sweet

I went to see a friend's funk band at the bar across from my store. I was craving a bloody mary, but the bartender didn't have the mix. I settled for a rum punch. It was so tasty. I realized that sweet drinks like rum punch could seriously turn me into a blathering drunk. And that drink was sweeeet!

Now I'm not saying I'm an alcoholic (well maybe I am but I'm just not ready to admit that I'm powerless over alcohol yet) but it is tempting. Sometimes I think about going the route of my all time favorite drunk, Charles Bukowski. I mean that man was brilliant! But he sure didn't dig sweet drinks, so I might not be cut out for that kind of imbibing.

Speaking of sweet, if you are interested in checking out a sweet bar in Clinton Hill, definitely stop by Mirrors on Grand. The owner, Michelle, is super cool and has really done a nice job making it a true neighborhood spot despite some bad reviews early on. Two cheers to another woman owned business! Yeah, I'm sexist and I like my drinks. Got something to say about it?

BOOTY

Aside from step stools my life is ruled by booty. Whether it be monetary or sexual. Now I'm not saying I am some kind of princess that need diamonds and pearls, but I have bills to pay. I'm also not saying I am some kind of sex fiend, but there are times when I could really use some action. As I sit here listening to some dancehall, I hear Cecile singing Miss Dynamite and I realize booty rules us all. You are not exempt!

Isn't it funny how this symbol has been brought back upon us mostly in kids clothing and toys. My kids favorite snack is Pirate's Booty for gods sake! Pirates are all the rage to the 7 and under group.

If you like dancehall, dub, ska and sounds that make you wine ya bumsie, check out the Balanced pod casts.What's your favorite sites to get music to bogle to?

It's all about booty I tell you!

tippy... pull me...

My life is run amok by toys. I'm surrounded by them. If not my kids toys all over my apartment, it's toys in my store. People bombarded me with questions about toys thinking I must know about every brightly colored, plastic play thing out there. I guess it's my fault for opening a kids store. But I actually really love feeling like people look up to me and trust my opinion. Just another ego booster, which I am always desperately looking for.

Along with my superior knowledge of things kids like to play with, I'm a bit of a vintage toy nut. I mean there are people way worse than me, but I'm pretty bad. Customers come into the store and want to buy some of my classic Fisher-Price goodies so I slap outrageous prices on them to snuff the sale. I love the bright colors, the basic shapes and the nostalgia of knowing some kid my parents (or grandparents) age played with these vintage objects. Just think of the 30 year old buggers smeared on these cute play things!

For accuracy sake, it is not Tippy the Turtle, it is Tip Toe Turtle, but I love Tippy and wanted to represent. He taught kids to duck and cover in case of a nuclear attack. What could be better than that? If you've never seen The Atomic Cafe check it out. Although the last time I saw it I was in high school, so it could really suck.

I'm not really into fat guys, but Humpty is an exception! He lost his pull string so I wrote 'pull me' to throw some Bklyn sarcasm his way. He looks so happy and the dumb ass doesn't even have a string. Good thing he doesn't have to duck and cover!

step UP

This is the bane of my existence! Yes a step stool. I am the size of most 9 year olds and feel like I spend half my life either on a step stool or looking for one. If someone comes into my store over 5'3" I put their asses to work because there is so much stuff I can't reach! I sent a friend of mine into shock when he realized I am only a few inches from being a dwarf. People have walked right into me because the didn't see me. I just can't wear heels all the time. One time I was on the bus and these 12 year olds started a fight with me because they thought I was some kid from their school! It just ain't right!

Lucky for me I'm pretty damn cute and get away with all kinds of stuff because of my vertically challenged stature. People offer to help me and give me all their clothes that are too small. I wear kids sizes and they are so much cheaper than adult stuff, especially sneakers. So it isn't all bad. Just wish my life wasn't ruled by a step stool!

ride....

I drew this after an awesome ride to Prospect Park to pay respect to my father, whose ashes are buried under a Tea Cup Magnolia near the meadow. I'm so glad warm weather is upon us!

When I was in college I was a serious bike geek. I saved for 2 years to get a 13.5" Gary Fisher Advance, chromoly frame, all-terrain bike (I wont bore you with the rest of the specs, but I certainly could). It was the smallest adult bike on the market and I wanted it! [insert laughs at the size of the bike here]

After 10 good years of riding Electra (as I named her) and lots of waitress jobs, I fell into the world of advertising. I was Senior Art Director of a small agency on Park Avenue South (so I'm showing off, isn't that what this is about). I would ride from my not-so-fabulous loft in Bushwick (definitely pre-gentrification in 1998) to 28th and Park. As with much of NY, there was a scaffold surrounding my building. I locked Electra up to the scaffold and went to work. When I came down for lunch she was gone. Bitch got stolen!!! Not outside my shit-hole in Bushwick, but on Park Ave!

A number of years later I was at my daughter's school telling someone of my beloved Electra. She said she had a bike that she never rode and gave it to me! The generosity of some people never ceases to amaze me. Now it is no Gary Fisher, but it certainly gets all those assy muscles working. I have a yuppie kids seat on the back so I can ride the little guy around, although I'm having some trouble with the seat hitting the break. I cut off part of the foot rest to see if that will help, but it didn't (please comment with advice). Even with the faulty breaks I am in love again and I've got the muscles to prove it!

Along with my FREE bike, the helmet sketched above was also FREE! I got it at one of the DOT free helmet giveaways. Check out the DOT calendar for the next giveaway in May. I am such a sucker for good free shit and there is plenty out there.

see me

I had a friend in high school that would shout at people if they didn't pay attention to her, "What am I a piece of glass and you see right through me?" She certainly earned some attention that way. Well I can't say I feel like a piece of glass, but it sure isn't easy to find people who actually see you. To help me with my quest to find someone who actually sees me, I've decided to write a personal ad. I have no desire to date but a friend or two with benefits would be perfect. ;)

Woman, the size of most 8 year olds, seeks man to get horizontal with

Who could resist this one! After 10 years of marriage, this fabulously tiny woman comes with suitcases full of emotional baggage. And what fun you'll have playing with her two bratty kids. They love to throw temper tantrums and will make you feel completely uncomfortable by talking endlessly about their genitalia. But that's not all! This lady runs her own business that is so much fun she never leaves. Try talking to her during the day. It's a hoot! Better get this one while she's still on the rebound.

RING!

Some days I am more pathetic than others. I did this on one of my more pathetic days. I was feeling super lonely and instead of picking the phone to call someone I just looked at it hoping it would ring. I went on feeling sorry for myself and drew this picture. Could I be more of a looser?

The irony of this story is that I began the drawing at my store on a very slow day. Boo hoo for me... That night I was off to meet some friends so I continued the sketch on the train. Of course the very pathetic, lonely MissG ran into a friend on the subway, making my sad image sort of obsolete. But after my friend got off the train I went back to my dark place and finished the drawing. I think I colored it in the next day because I ended up hanging out relatively late and I'm sure I was a bit too drunk. All that feeling sorry for myself and I spent a night with all kinds of people who still didn't call me! Pathetic!

pretty backyard and acupuncture

A couple of weeks ago I spent a great weekend at my BFFs house in NJ (no comments please). This is a sketch I did of their back yard.

There was a group of us from Jr. High that all slept over. It was a blast! One of my friends from the days of smelly pits and greasy hair married an acupuncturist who offered us free sessions. I, of course, asked for something to help slow me down. He proceeded to put 10 needles in my back and a few on my arms.

I began to feel a tingle and was nearly relaxed when I noticed a strange sound. It was some kind of slurping. Suddenly the door swings open and my friend says "MUTTLEY WHAT ARE YOU DOING???" Muttley is my 14 year old mutt. I'm sure I don't have to tell you what it was. Within seconds every window is open, I'm freezing my ass off and can't move bec. I have a total of 12 needles in my body, not to mention the smell is making my eyes bleed!

Luckily I have a good friend who cleaned up the gift from my incontinent dog, but couldn't quite get my shoes back to a normal state.

As is with my life, I must face reality and realize that I am not allowed to relax, no matter how hard I try. Even with needles pressing into specific spots hoping to force some relaxation and to ease some tension, it is not allowed.

One day I'll have to post about how I nearly died from a pimple and got a toothbrush enlodged in my throat...

LOUDER

I am a little person so I have a serious Napoleonic complex, hence my BIG HEADPHONES. I like to block out the world and listen to really loud music.

I totally messed up this picture by trying to put lightning bolts next to the headphones. They just didn't work. Then I remembered the shading I had done in my brownstone picture and thought I could correct my ill-fated lightening bolts. I guess it worked out. But I'm no real artist, so what do I know?

BrownStone Bklyn

Here is a group of brownstones I sketched while my son slept in the stroller and I sat on a bench in Forte Greene Park. I definitely have brownstone envy.

I've lived in Brooklyn all my life, as has most of my family. But we are part of a sad bunch that never lived in a 'real' brownstone. The house my family and I lived in was brick with awesome tar paper. What a lost medium, tar paper. So what if they get hot and fall off. They sparkle and look cool.

Our house was laid out like a brownstone on the inside, but very small. It only had 4 tiny rooms with an apartment upstairs. One of my favorite stories is when I found a gun in the basement. My mother told me it was from the last people that lived in the house. Of course I was the 5th generation to live in that house, so the last people to live there were my mother, her brother and her parents. Apparently she was trying to be diplomatic about letting me know that the gun was part of our history.

WAKE UP!

So I get up around 5:45. Hit snooze about a dozen times and end up rolling out of bed at about 6:30. Get the kids up. Do all the morning rituals and drop my big one at the bus stop. On this morning after making our morning bus drop off, the little guy and I headed back to the apartment and dozed off. Well he did! By 8:12 he was sound asleep. That little mamas boy better WAKE UP! We have things to do!